excuse me while i ramble...
yesterday was a hard day. isla wouldn't nap and i was totally exhausted. i don't know how i got to this state of exhaustion, but every single part of me wanted to curl up and sleep until bryan came home. when the day did came to an end (or rather, when the girls were in bed) i sat down and completely zoned out for probably an hour. i wasn't emotionally, mentally or physically overwhelmed, but i was overwhelmed...somehow. i needed to be still. some days are like that.
being a stay at home mom is a lot of things, it's rewarding, enjoyable, funny and educational even, but it isn't easy. a lot of the time it feels monotonous (but i think all jobs are like that at some point) with all the laundry, cooking, entertaining little people, attempting to educate said little people, cleaning little monsters, grocery shopping, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. the worst is when i start feeling guilty for doing something i want to do (hmmm, like blogging or jogging). i know i shouldn't feel guilty for giving myself a little time...the feeling still creeps in. OH and while i'm ranting i should mention how lonely it gets and how i long for adult company.
ok, let's go back to when i'm sitting on the couch with a completely blank mind after a particularly trying day. when i came out of my haze and started thinking about life before kids and how easy things were-school, work, married w/o kids-CAKE! BUT i couldn't think of one thing that has brought me more true happiness than my children. i know how lucky i am to have them. i am so grateful that bryan is supportive of my desire to stay home with our two littles. i guess love is sometimes hell, but most of the time heaven.
yesterday was a hard day. isla wouldn't nap and i was totally exhausted. i don't know how i got to this state of exhaustion, but every single part of me wanted to curl up and sleep until bryan came home. when the day did came to an end (or rather, when the girls were in bed) i sat down and completely zoned out for probably an hour. i wasn't emotionally, mentally or physically overwhelmed, but i was overwhelmed...somehow. i needed to be still. some days are like that.
being a stay at home mom is a lot of things, it's rewarding, enjoyable, funny and educational even, but it isn't easy. a lot of the time it feels monotonous (but i think all jobs are like that at some point) with all the laundry, cooking, entertaining little people, attempting to educate said little people, cleaning little monsters, grocery shopping, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. the worst is when i start feeling guilty for doing something i want to do (hmmm, like blogging or jogging). i know i shouldn't feel guilty for giving myself a little time...the feeling still creeps in. OH and while i'm ranting i should mention how lonely it gets and how i long for adult company.
ok, let's go back to when i'm sitting on the couch with a completely blank mind after a particularly trying day. when i came out of my haze and started thinking about life before kids and how easy things were-school, work, married w/o kids-CAKE! BUT i couldn't think of one thing that has brought me more true happiness than my children. i know how lucky i am to have them. i am so grateful that bryan is supportive of my desire to stay home with our two littles. i guess love is sometimes hell, but most of the time heaven.
Amen sista! Well said... you have an adorable family, and I'll be honest, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to zone out on the couch every so often once the kids are in bed. :)
ReplyDeleteI love you, Emily! I know those feelings:) Thanks for being one who wants to do this extremely hard job of full-time mommyhood! You are awesome and your girls are so beautiful. And you are so extremely talented that I can't even tell you!
ReplyDeleteYou are sooooo right! I'm so tired right now that there is no way that I would even be able to come up with the words to express what it's like as SAHM. I think I check facebook just to feel like I have adult interaction.
ReplyDeleteWow. That totally made me cry. I have so much admiration for the wonderful way you and Bryan are bringing up your beautiful girls, and for the care you take to teach and love and nuture them. It's a long, hard road, but it sounds to me like you're finding some joy in the journey, so keep up the GREAT work!!
ReplyDeleteXOXOXOX!!